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- How to share (difficult) truths with grace and compassion
Have you ever wondered how to effectively share with someone a "blind spot" that they may not realize is hurting them or holding them back? It can be tough to share a truth that someone doesn't see, and such truth-telling can often be met with denial, defensiveness, and conflict. In my role as a mentor, I often need to share difficult perspectives and insights with clients, and I've found ways to make a challenging process easer and better. Here are a few things that can help it go more smoothly: Examine YOUR motives for sharing this truth with them. Is it because you care and want to support them, or is it because you want to be "right?" Do YOU have any charge around this issue? If you do, then it would be helpful for you to get neutral and clear before approaching them. Compassionate truth will go a lot further than righteousness. Ask for permission before offering feedback. Make sure that the other person wants to hear what have to say, and that they’re open to expansion and personal development. Ask them to consider sitting with your reflection, rather than needing to respond or explain, and remind the other person that you're offering insight from a place of love. Remind them of what is known to be true for them, and relate back to what they want and desire. For example, if the other person has told you that they’re desperate to be in a relationship, and yet all of their actions indicate the opposite, gently remind them that they’ve expressed a desire for love and commitment. Reflect to them, with love , how you see them acting in a way that is contrary to their desire. Offer to support them going forward. Perhaps they would like you to check in with them if/when you see them repeating the pattern? Or not. Either way is fine. Let go of attachment to what they decide. Sometimes it'll go great (yay!!) and other times the person will give you a hundred reasons why you're wrong. But in my experience, someone who's truly open to expansion will be able to hear what you're saying, and will appreciate it... or at least they will, eventually ;) xoxo,
- Oops, your blind spots are showing....
"You can't see the label of the jar you're in." The first time I deeply understood this was during a retreat when one of my mentors introduced the concept of "Johari's Window." Johari's window is a graphic representation of how we operate in the world in general, and opens up a conversation about our BLIND SPOTS in particular (check out my drawing, below). There are 4 quadrants. The first quadrant, in the upper left, represents what is known to the self AND known to others . This is the "ARENA" of information ; when we're operating here, everyone has information to get stuff done and make progress. Boom, easy breezy! The bottom left quadrant (which says number 3 here, and yes, I'm addressing 2nd) represents what is known to the self and NOT known to others . As long as this part of us remains hidden to others, it is the "MASK" we wear. We often wear masks to hide the parts of ourselves we don’t like, that we fear might alienate, disappoint or separate us from others. This area represents an opportunity for growth, because when it is shared, and everyone has the same information, it becomes part of the "ARENA" we can play with and work with. In the upper right (Quadrant 2), we have what is unknown to us and known to those around us . This area represents our BLIND SPOTS, and is another significant growth opportunity IF we're willing to solicit feedback and be receptive , which often requires tremendous vulnerability and openness. Finally, the bottom right quadrant (AKA #4) represents what is unknown to us AND unknown to others . This is the area of UNKNOWN POTENTIAL and requires BOTH removing our masks AND being willing to receive feedback from others. This is often the hardest work of all. As we look to grow and expand in this way -- through sharing more of ourselves with others, and being willing to receive honest reflections from others, we must choose wisely the people we will be entering these conversations with. I recommend choosing people who you know align with your vision and values, and establishing agreement up front that this kind of sharing is desired and welcome. All too often I've tried sharing feedback with someone who wasn't open or receptive, I'll bet you have too. That's no fun. Also, give yourself and others time to integrate feedback, and be grateful and receptive, no matter what the feedback is. Without mirrors, we can't see ourselves. Let others be your mirrors. xoxo,
- The perfection trap
Did you know that your mind is a machine and that it runs on programs that you learned at a very young age? When we're little, we lack the logic skills to understand why mommy is sad, or daddy is frustrated, but we know when we feel unsafe. Depending on your family dynamic, you learned different strategies to ensure your safety. One of the most foundational tenets of evolutionary psychology is that safety and belonging were essential to human survival. Tens of thousands of years ago, the worst punishment a tribe could bestow was banishment -- humans were not meant to live solo. Our brains are wired for belonging, and (whether we admit it or not), we'll do whatever it takes to stay "in" with our tribe. So imagine a little kid growing up in a family in which there is an emphasis on achievement, and “getting it right.” Perhaps that child's dad gets upset or annoyed whenever he makes a mistake, or perhaps his mom is always cautioning him not to get himself dirty... over time, the child may develop a "strategy" (or "program") to keep his parents (upon whom his survival depends) happy. That child might decide, quite unconsciously, that he needs to be "perfect" to belong (aka: survive) and be loved. Never mind that his parents never intended to send such a message. So the kid gets good grades, is a good boy, and for years receives external reinforcement that his "be perfect" strategy is a good one, which becomes intrinsic reinforcement. He creates the "story" that as long as he's perfect, everything is great. That is, until the years go by (or decades) and the pressure of being perfect starts to weigh down on him, leaving him utterly exhausted, depleted, and miserable. If this is sounding familiar perhaps you're wondering, “ how do I rewrite my programming?" All things in good time ;) First things first! We need to understand the four most common programs that we install at a young age. I’m going to dive into two of them in my next email. xoxo,
- What unconscious programs are you running?
When we're young, we develop certain unconscious “programs” to help us survive. Continuing the example from last week's email, perfectionism is one example of such a strategy. "If I'm perfect, THEN I'll belong and be loved" (AKA: survive). Other unconscious programs including controlling, avoiding, distracting or people-pleasing, which I first read about in Heather Ash Amara's book Warrior Goddess Training, Controlling: this is a strategy for managing the world and controlling our circumstances. The benefit of this strategy is that it helps us to organize, plan and create a road map to achieve specific goals. The drawback here is that controlling comes with attachment. We're continually looking at how to manipulate our environment to create a particular outcome. When I was in school, I was attached to the goal of getting good grades because, in my mind, grades equaled status. This strategy can be exhausting. It can also create distance between you and other people because if you're constantly strategizing for forcing outcomes with people, they're bound to feel manipulated. People-Pleasing: when you use this strategy your needs and goals become secondary to the needs and goals of others. Pleasing people makes you feel liked, loved, safe and validated. According to Amara, “pleasers believe that they will only be accepted when they are helping others…their gifts are sensitivity and an aptitude for sacred service.” All good things, right? The downside with this strategy is that it can leave you feeling victimized, resentful, hyper-vigilant and distrusting. For a while, these programs work well enough (or not!), but as we age, they can become harder to keep up, and can lead to feelings of disconnection, loneliness, and resentment. The reason is that they're all ways of being that keep us from confronting what's REALLY going on. I encourage you to sit with these two descriptions. Assume you use both (most of us do) and ask yourself, “Where am I using these strategies?" "How do they manifest in my behavior?" "What’s the underlying need I’m trying to meet by controlling or people-pleasing?” Let me know what you discover! xoxo,
- 2 more ways we hide the truth from ourselves...
In last week's Scoop, we discussed 2 common strategies that we often learn from a young age to "survive": controlling and people-pleasing. Today, I’m going to dive into the other two: isolating and distracting.* Isolating: this strategy can look like emotional or physical withdrawal. For me, isolation shows up as quitting, breaking off relationships, and leaving situations that I don't like. The thought is, "Well, I don't want to deal with this anymore, so I'm just going to walk away." At its worst, isolation can cause us to disconnect and break rapport with other people, or run away from challenging experiences that could lead to growth and transformation. potentially positive experiences. Distracting: this strategy is all about staying busy, multi-tasking and not leaving any space for silence, which could lead to having to deal with what's REALLY happening. I run this program a lot. Amara says that distractors “keep themselves safe by staying busy and checked out." We all have distractions, and many of us have distractions that prevent us from really dealing with what's going on. Instead of feeling our feelings and facing discomfort (which is often the best indicator of where we need to make a change), we may spend hours on Facebook, eating, working out, gossiping, or any number of other distractions. Working is probably the BIGGEST distraction that we let get in the way. So, how do YOU use isolation and distraction, and are these strategies preventing you from facing some important truths? xoxo,
- Let's play!! 4 easy experiments to try...
Personal development is a journey, not a destination. None of us will ever wholly override the programs and strategies we learned as children, but we can develop a higher level of awareness around them. No matter how "evolved" we become, we will continue to meet circumstances that touch old wounds and trigger old strategies. And that's OK. We're never "done" growing – every new day is a new opportunity to better understand how we tick. Now that you know the four core strategies, and you’ve spent some time exploring how each shows up for you, I will offer some "experiments" to try around each one. These are bound to feel uncomfortable -- breaking old patterns can be tough! – but you can prepare yourself to thrive on the challenge. Dive into the discomfort and allow yourself to go even deeper into the source of what’s there. Controllers: Go on an "opinion fast." Don’t share your point of view even when you’re asked for it. Get silent. Avoid being right, and admit it when you’re wrong. Distractors: Meditate! Start doing five-minute focus sessions each day where you simply bring your attention to your breathing. Work your way up to 20 minutes (and beyond!) Isolators: Get out there! Share, be vulnerable, meet new people, participate in groups online and in real life. Pleasers: Set your default answer to "no" and ask for 24 hours to really consider someone's request, before saying "yes." I hope this is helpful to you. If you haven’t already, I encourage you to read HeatherAsh Amara’s book Warrior Goddess Training for even more useful information around strategies and programs. xoxo,
- The Superstar Scoop: How To Create A Sustainable, Scalable & Lifestyle-Friendly Business Model
Your business model is the mechanism by which you monetize your MAGIC. As such, your business model is inexorably intertwined with key outcomes in your business, most notably: income, lifestyle, and IMPACT. Your model determines the work you do day in and day out, the people you do it with, the degree of leverage built into your business, your scalability, stability, income streams, and much more. In this article (and the accompanying video, click here to view on YouTube ), I share how tweaking your business model – sometimes just a couple of “clicks” over – can help you to create more stability, more prosperity and more JOY in your business. But first, it will help for you to hear my story of how I shifted my own business model from one that was exhausting and draining (for over 7 years!), to one that is now fulfilling, joyful and prosperous. When I started my coaching, consulting, training, speaking business, my “model” (I use that term very loosely) was a "professional services" model. But really it was a “whatever-I-can-sell-to-make-a-buck” model. I was serving a variety of markets, and a variety of leads, with a variety of needs. I was not specialized in a clear solution, and that was confusing – for me AND for them. I found myself constantly networking, outreaching, writing proposals, following up, attending meetings, and trying to find ways to “fit” my skills to all these different and diverse needs. I didn’t have clearly defined service offerings or client paths. Every client was a unique animal, and required a unique sales process and offering. Not to mention, I was always selling ME. It was exhausting. The issue was not ONLY a lack of a business model (although that was a big one), it was also that I was operating from a paradigm of scarcity. Because I felt scarce, I felt the need to capitalize on EVERY opportunity – however ill-fitting – that came my way. And because I was providing so many different services, and getting leads from so many different places, I also didn't have a sales process whereby opportunities funneled into one place and moved through a clear path. If somebody emailed me and asked me for my prices, I would email them a price list of MANY different offerings (mostly priced by the hour or other unit of time)... If they asked to meet, I would, and spend a couple of hours letting them pick my brain… and then another few hours writing a follow up proposal (that would often get ignored!)... Or if they called me, on the spot I would try to sell – by answering all their questions (and often writing – yet another, ugh – proposal)... Then I’d spend hours every week following up. It always felt like I was juggling hundreds of balls – and couldn’t keep track of it all (not my strong suit). Lots fell through the cracks. As I mentioned, many (maybe most) of my proposals didn’t sell – probably because I gave away my best strategies and ideas (AKA: my “magic”) during that initial pre-proposal phase, and then tried to sell the implementation of those ideas, which I didn’t really enjoy doing. Ultimately I had built a business around giving away my highest and best value, before the clients were even invested, and then trying to sell the activities I was worst at. Obviously, this was unsustainable for many reasons. The first was that my revenues went up and down like a roller coaster. There were some months when I would pull in $20,000, and then the next month it was $2,000. Not fun. The concern was always: how am I going to make it this month? Because of that instability, I didn’t hire support – it's hard to hire when you don't know what your revenues are going to be. Employees – even just part-time ones – like to get paid every month, you know? And to top it off I was miserable. I felt like a failure inside, though I was too proud to show it, or ask for help. Long story short, clearly my “model,” wasn't working well. Then 6 years ago, all hell broke loose, such that I could no longer ignore or “power through.” I experienced a health crisis and the breakup of a relationship at the same time, which meant I backed off the constant hustling and activities that were driving business... Within just a couple short months, my revenues dried up altogether. I was broke. I was going to either have to 1) figure this out, or 2) go get a job. So, I had to figure it out. Serendipitously (thank you Universe!) I met a mentor who had a model that looked intriguing, and who was willing to help me emulate it. In my last “hail mary” attempt to make my business work, I jumped in. I did 5 key things to turn it all around. First, I added a new program offering, with a simpler model. A program in which clients started in ONE place, which I now call a “Breakthrough Program.” My breakthrough program was a retreat – yours can be anything (though I really favor retreats!) – where 10 people at once could experience my core content and get a big breakthrough. Such a big breakthrough, in fact, that some of them would be ready to keep going and go deeper. Which leads me to #2. I created a “go deeper” program, which I now call “The Big Back End." This is where clients got to work with me on true long-term transformation and mastery, and which – from a strategic business model perspective – delivered ongoing, monthly recurring revenues (MRR). Can you say "win-win?" I started leveraging my time and technology in new ways by delivering programs virtually, and in groups. This way I could continue to add more clients, without having to invest a whole lot more time. I implemented a simple, consistent sales process centered around “meaningful conversations," which is what one of my mentors, Mark LeBlanc, calls sales conversations. No more proposals, no more pricing menus, no more tech-heavy funnels, no more lunch meetings… Instead I would say, "The way I work is we start by having a strategy session over the phone, where I can learn more about what you're looking for, and from there we can see if we're a good fit to work together.” And if it was a fit? I’d make the offer for the Breakthrough Program right there on the spot. No following up. Finally, I began REALLY paying attention to my mindset, my beliefs and my internal habits. I started meditating and doing yoga, I gave up drinking heavily, and started eating healthy foods (90% of the time). These were GAME-CHANGERS for me. I started to think and feel abundant – no matter what the circumstances were. The result of implementing these strategies? Not only did the business income quadruple within 14 months, at the end of the first year of “Big Back End” there were clients who wanted to keep working with me for a second year, then a third year... (I now call this the "Even Bigger Back End"). The best part, I LOVE my business and what I get to do every day. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I hope these 5 strategies help you envision ways your can increase your income and your impact – without sacrificing your lifestyle in the process. *** If you enjoyed this video / article, and want to go deeper, here are a couple of free resources for you: Superstar Business Alignment Assessment - Get insights into the best areas to focus your attention for more financial stability, freedom and fulfillment by taking the Superstar Business Assessment. (Takes about 30 minutes). Monetize Your Magic Playbook - A 6-Step Process to discover how to strategically monetize your gifts. And if you're interested in / curious about working with me, visit www.SuperstarDiscoveryCall.com to set up a time to chat. Enjoy.
- The Superstar Scoop: 4 Ways to Be Emotionally Healthy
Now more than ever, with so much change and uncertainty, being emotionally healthy is critical. If you want to develop a healthier emotional baseline, here are some simple awarenesses and practices to try incorporating into your life. Watch the video to get the full content on this topic, or keep reading for the highlights. Before we look at what it takes to be emotionally healthy, let's take a quick peek at what it looks like to be emotionally unhealthy . Here are 4 unhealthy habits, or ways of being, and then on the flip side, I’ll share the healthier alternatives. The first habit that's unhealthy is avoiding or distracting ourselves from what we’re feeling. This can be unhealthy because it takes our attention away from things that may really need to be addressed. For example is if we consistently avoid a severe pain in our body, we'll likely to end up sick. Similarly, if we consistently avoid or distract from dealing with problems in our relationships, then our relationships are going to suffer. When we avoid or distract -- by staying busy, by drinking, eating, shopping, playing video games or any number of other fairly socially acceptable behaviors -- all of which I myself have had a lot of experience with in my past! -- we may numb the uncomfortable feelings for a while, but they’re still in there, and usually, eventually, create (way more!) problems down the line. The opposite of avoiding and distracting is truth-telling , or facing the reality of a situation and addressing it, even if it’s uncomfortable or painful. By addressing these issues up front, we can start to process them and gain the lessons from them, which help us to evolve, grow and develop a more emotionally healthy and stable way of being. The second unhealthy habit is blaming . People who have a habit of blaming, tend to place blame outside of themselves for all of the things that are “wrong” in their lives. They might say "you make me feel this way” or “you made me do this thing." The opposite of blame is taking responsibility. This looks like getting curious in every scenario and asking "Hmm, how can I own this?” Now, it might seem really odd for me to say that you should take responsibility in every situation, when clearly, there are things that are not our fault. But there’s a difference between “fault” and “responsibility.” Something may not be our fault, but how we deal with it is always our responsibility; blaming makes us the victim, while taking responsibility is empowering. I'll give you a great example of someone who took a situation in which he could have easily been a victim, and turned it around: Rick Allen, the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard . He was at the height of his career, one of the top drummers in the world, then had an accident and lost an arm. Nobody would have blamed him if he had said, "I'm missing an arm. I can't be a drummer anymore." But Rick Allen didn't do that. Instead he said... "How can I still be a drummer? How can I drum again? " Well, off he went and created a whole new drum set, a custom set designed to use his legs more, and went from being a “one-armed drummer” to a “three-limbed drummer.” A third type of behavior and personality that's emotionally unhealthy is people pleasing . The people-pleaser always says “yes” to things, even when they don't want to, to gain the approval, affection or acceptance of others. The opposite of a people pleaser is a person who has clear yeses and nos, who has standards, and holds their boundaries firm. The fourth unhealthy way of being is what I call the “Eeyore” type (as in the depressed donkey from Winnie the Poo). This type of person is always down, and low energy. The opposite of this type is someone who takes care of themselves and endeavors to be energy rich , rather than living in a low energy state . Everybody has bad days, and (per item #1), we don’t want to avoid or distract from our feelings, but it’s unhealthy to live in that state all the time. In order to build up energy richness, we've got to pay attention to our physiology. That means prioritizing getting our needs met — “putting our oxygen mask on first,” AKA: self-care . To that end we've got to look at things like sleep and food and taking care of our body just as much as we take care of our career or a bank account or our minds. *** If you're interested in developing a more emotionally healthy personality in service to a business or a mission or a vision that you want to achieve, then let’s connect! Book a discovery call with me to explore if and how I might be able to support you in uplifting your business and your life.
- The Superstar Scoop: How To Become A Thought Leader In Your Niche
In this article, and the accompanying video, I share a 5-part strategic framework to position yourself as a thought leader in your niche – and the best part is you can probably do 4 of the 5 parts right now, today! A “thought leader” – by my definition – is someone who cultivates influence in order to impact the world. It’s someone who’s changing the way we think, someone who's introducing new paradigms, someone who is grabbing a torch and leading a charge on something new, different and unique. So how do you position yourself as a thought leader? It starts with Branding. Click Here to watch the video But before we get into Positioning, we first need to address BEING. The most important factor I’ve witnessed in working with people, as they step into thought leadership, is not tactical or even strategic, it's mindset and attitude . One of the biggest challenges I see – especially with, but not only with women – is a reluctance to be seen as “bragging,” and a belief that branding = bragging. They worry “what will people think?” when they put themselves out there, and fear they’ll turn people off if they’re “too much.” These fears can be conscious or subconscious (or, very often, both). And so instead of claiming their thought leadership, they wait for OTHERS to proclaim their thought leadership. I call this “Waiting To Be Discovered.” They’re waiting for someone to discover them and say, "YOU!! YES! You’re IT! I’ve been LOOKING for someone JUST like YOU! Where have you been all my life? Can I (please) hire you?” Needless to say, this rarely happens – unless and until you put yourself OUT THERE. Okay, let’s dive into the 5 steps to branding like a thought leader! *** Step One is “The Inner Work,” which involves getting clear about who you really are, and what you really love to do, so you can create an ALIGNED brand. Simon Sinek famously claimed you should "Start With WHY; I call this step “Start With I.” That's because your WHY becomes clearer when you know WHO you really are. A quick story… Like many brand new entrepreneurs, when I started my business (in 2007, right before the big recession), I was almost 100% focused on my money-making strategy, nothing else. I thought: "I need to make money, and corporations have money, so I’ll brand myself as a corporate consultant!” Can you relate – crafting your brand from the OUTSIDE IN? I looked at other corporate consulting websites and business cards, and emulated what I saw. I ended up with a navy blue, black and white website with lots of text and information, but no color, no emotion, no joy, and no SOUL (lots and lots of text, though!!) Here’s a screenshot of that website: Essentially there was this BOX labeled “Corporate Consultant,” which I spent 2-3 years trying to contort myself to fit. No surprise, it never did. That didn’t stop me from hammering away, hustling and trying to make it work, but it just wasn't happening naturally. And the reason it wasn't happening naturally is because the brand I created was not aligned with my authentic nature. I LOVE color. I love to have FUN. I love connecting DEEPLY with people. Luckily one day a woman in a seminar I was facilitating called me out. After spending the afternoon together, at the end of the program, I showed my headshot and contact info – a headshot featuring me in a navy blue suit with pearls – she said “is that you? That doesn’t even look like you!! You’re NOTHING like that picture!” She was adamant, and insisted I change out my headshot – and even sent me an email later after reviewing my website. It was a wake up call. I couldn’t ignore what she was saying, because it felt so TRUE. So I started to ask myself the deeper questions and started to bring my OUTER image into alignment with my INNER identity. I started using a new headshot, which I affectionately termed the “Sharpie Pic,” and the response was swift and positive. See images below. From there I changed my website, business name, tag lines, programs, services, and pretty much EVERYTHING else. And over the years, I did a good enough job at rebranding myself, that I started doing it with and for others. The key to doing this Step One well, is instead of STARTING with questions like “what does the market want me to be?” or “what can I sell?” or “what's popular right now” or “what's trending?;" starting with questions like: “who am I really?” “what do I enjoy doing the most?” “what’s my FAVORITE part about the work I do?” “If I could have it ALL my way, what would that look like?” When we DON’T do this work first, you can end up with an “ill-fitting” brand like I did -- like ill-fitting clothes. Not super comfortable – and not super compelling either. People can FEEL that discomfort (even if they’re not sure where it comes from). Watch the video for more in depth coverage of Step One . *** Step Two is “The Higher Work” – your WHY, your "North Star." The bigger, deeper meaning of what you’re here, on this planet, to do. The Higher Work is the connection to something bigger than you. Sometimes this can be challenging when we're just trying to “get by” and make some money. We can forget the value of connecting to something greater. I’m not necessarily talking about God or religion or spirituality, though maybe that’s what it is for you. I'm talking about connecting your brand to something that's meaningful for you, a contribution that's beyond you. It could be something like empowering others, or giving back, or bringing awareness to a cause... there are a zillion possibilities, but whatever it is gives FUEL to your devotion to the work, AND can also be a boon to your brand. Brands like Tom’s and Goldieblox are great examples of brands that LEAD with their why, and attract people to their mission, message and movement – and it drives attention, loyalty and sales. So, what’s YOUR greater mission, message or movement? *** Step Three is “The Creative Work.” The creative work is the FUN part (in my opinion). This is where you get to decide and bring forward what you do UNIQUELY. The Creative Work is what differentiates you from everybody else in the market. It’s your innovation; it’s your CREATION. It’s the center of your thought leadership; it’s the actual “thing” that makes you a thought leader. It can be a body of work you developed, a system you designed, a product you invented, a book you wrote, a methodology you devised, an event you founded, a story you lived… it can be anything that’s uniquely YOURS. It’s your “Special Sauce.” *** If you want to go deeper on this topic of your Creative Work, watch my video “What Is A Personal Brand and Why Is It Important?” In that video, I dive into my “Red Sole” branding concept there, which explains how to find the unique value that increases your perceived value (and your price!) *** *** Step Four to personal branding for thought leadership in your niche is the “Strategic Work.” This is where a lot of people start their branding journey, in the middle, if you ask me. The strategic work is what's more commonly associated with “Branding.” It encompasses mostly what I refer to as POSITIONING. These are questions like: Who is your target market (which I prefer to call “Ideal Market” because “target” is, well, a bit aggressive, isn’t it?) What’s the market opportunity, AKA: the commonly known (or perhaps not so commonly known) PROBLEM you solve? What will you charge? Where do you / your offerings “fit” in the market landscape? There are other questions too, but essentially what we’re getting at here is who are the PEOPLE you will focus on, and how will you PROMOTE, PLACE and PRICE your offerings? This work is also about putting language to your message and determining how you will EXPRESS your brand in the world. Essentially, what is your MESSAGE? Every thought leader has a message, and a thought leader is someone who changes minds (and likely wins over hearts, too). So, what is that message that you're going to put out in the world? *** The Fifth Step is the “Implementation Work” or "Execution Work." This is the physical look and feel of the brand; the materials that represent the brand out in the world. These include your logo, website, headshots, bio, business cards, flyers, book covers, and more. It extends to your MARKETING – youtube videos, blog posts, emails, events. Yes there’s a distinction between branding and marketing, but, in my book, anything that represents your brand and adds to your brand “oeuvre” IS branding. Watch the video to go a little bit deeper into this piece. SO that’s it! The 5 key components of positioning yourself as a thought leader. I hope that was helpful for you. One thing to remember on this journey is that these days, people's "BS Meter" is on MAX, and there's very little tolerance for anything that smells of inauthenticity. No matter what you do for your brand, do yourself – and the world – a favor, make sure it feels TRUE and ALIGNED for you, before you put it out there. Good luck! *** If this article or video resonated with you, and you're ready to take a next step, check out my free guide: Googleicious 4.0, at www.googleicious.me . This guide will help you brand yourself online, and will give you TACTICAL things you can do TODAY – to be known and seen as a thought leader when people search for you on Google.
- The Superstar Scoop: How To Run Group Coaching Sessions – Format & Platform Ideas
In today’s article and video, I share a few different formats and ideas for delivering effective group mentoring . If you're a mentor, consultant or coach who already leads group events or calls, or you’d like to leverage your time without sacrificing the quality of your mentoring, then keep reading (or watch the video!) First off, in my experience, leading groups is awesome for business. It’s a great way to grow your income and impact, by leveraging your time and providing value beyond what you could deliver on your own. I’ve personally experienced the magic of being in a group MANY times, and shifting my business from a one-on-one model to a group model was a game-changer for me. If you want to go deeper into the benefits (and challenges!) of leading groups, watch the video. Or keep reading the article to see a shorter recap of my favorite formats, which can all be done virtually, via zoom (or live too!)... Format ideas: “Mastery Call” where you or a guest “master” brings in content and teaches it to the group. “Q&A Call” (Question & Answer) where people ask you questions and you respond. “Fishbowl Coaching” where you work live with one person while the group witnesses how that person is being coached. This is great because it allows others to benefit from the mentoring you deliver to one person. It’s helpful to reinforce that value throughout this type of call, by saying things like: “Is this helpful for everyone else?” and “What are you all getting out of witnessing this exchange?” to solidify that learning. “Office Hours” – Like a college professor does, you can set aside a few hours each week or each month where people can “pop in” (whether live or virtually) as needed, or even schedule in short 15 or 30 minute increments. You can also combine this with fishbowl if you want so that your clients can learn from each other. “Mastermind Format,” where every participant has a turn to be supported by the group. I love masterminding especially because it taps into the collective intelligence of the group, and fosters community. Also, it enables people to contribute their magic and their genius, which allows them to step into greater leadership. “Breakout Sessions,” where you break out your participants into smaller groups, can also be combined with a Mastermind format. In terms of delivery platforms, I use and recommend Zoom Meeting for all my group and individual calls, and one of the reasons I use it (and love it!) is that we can break people out into smaller groups so that they can connect with each other and/or mastermind together. One important thing to keep in mind when you’re leading groups is your own mindset and energy. If you're showing up on the call worried that you don't have enough time or there are too many clients to handle at once, for example, that's going to show up in your energy and in your language. It might be something as subtle as "Hey, we don't have a lot of time. So, make it quick." Every time you say something like that, you're reinforcing that time is scarce and that can undermine a group experience. It’s better to reinforce that there is plenty of time to do what you need to do – and then choose a format from the list above that helps you do that. Another way to handle that is to set “rules of engagement” at the beginning of the experience. For example, "Okay everyone, on this call, we're going to limit our shares to 2 minutes per person and so-and-so is going to be in charge of the timer." Or: "Here's how this is going to go today.... You type in your question in the chat and I'll answer them in the order I receive them." Setting the guidelines at the outset goes a long way towards how these agreements are received by your group. *** I hope these ideas and suggestions are helpful to you!! If you're looking to grow your business and are curious if I can help, click here to schedule a Discovery Call with me , personally. My promise is that whether you work with me or not, you will get value out of that call!
- The Superstar Scoop: 9 Practices To Be A Transformational Leader
A transformational leader is someone who inspires others to take action in service of a vision, and helps them step into greater versions of themselves in the process.* In order to be a transformational leader, then, we must be able to influence and enroll people in our vision, AND call people towards higher levels of their own personal development and leadership. In this article (and the video, above, that goes along with it), I share 9 practices – gleaned from years of working with many leaders, as well as from my own learning and development – to be a more influential, enrolling and empowering transformational leader.The first practice is mastering your emotional state. Science has shown that in any given moment, our heart is not just pumping blood, it’s actually sending electromagnetic waves, full of information, out into the world; and the information encoded in those waves is our emotional state . Put another way: we are constantly projecting our emotions outward, and people can FEEL them, even if they’re not consciously AWARE of it. The second practice of transformational leadership is standing in our authority . People want to be led by someone who knows what they're talking about and who knows what they're doing. Showing up to a situation in your power, standing strong, with confidence, goes a long way toward engendering trust. The third practice is building rapport with others, which means listening deeply, caring, and meeting people “where they're at” to establish connection, and then from there, leading towards a shared vision. Imagine having a meeting where you want to influence and excite people about an idea, and everybody in the room is depressed, sad and struggling. But you – excited by your vision – show up all “rah-rah” high energy, motivational-style… you’ll likely alienate people and struggle to lead them. When we build rapport, we connect to the emotional state of the group and then from that place we can introduce new ideas and lead people to a higher state. The fourth element is alignment. Alignment is about congruence and authenticity and being true to yourself and your expression in the world. A truly transformational leader is not pretending to be somebody they're not. They're not acting one way “outside,” and then a completely different way behind closed doors. A transformational leader is authentic and transparent, even vulnerable... The fifth element is vulnerability. Being a transformational leader doesn't mean being perfect, or always having the answers. People connect more to those who share their challenges – and then model how to overcome them. Having a vision (and expressing it in a compelling way) is a sixth element of being a transformational leader. So whereas an “old-school” authoritarian-style leader might say: "Hey, I'm the boss, you have to do what I say,” a transformational leader would say: "Hey check out this amazing vision I have…. Want to join me?” And the answer might well be: "Hell yes! How can I be a part of that NOW?” There's a LOT more energy there. (PS - The transformational leader also knows that some people are going to get it – and others won’t. The ones who don’t will fall away and the ones who do are going to be so jazzed and so energized and so excited to be part of this vision that they'll step in and pick up the slack!) The seventh component transformational leadership is demonstrating commitment, or better yet, DEVOTION. It's congruently modeling the behaviors that align with the message and mission. A truly transformational leader embodies the message they deliver, AKA: they "walk the talk.” A transformational leader also understands the importance of a call to action, and a PLAN. That’s the eighth element – the DOING part. The transformational leader has a plan that people can get involved in and get behind. Finally, the ninth – and sometimes most difficult – component of transformational leadership is “speaking the unspoken,” even when it’s unpopular or dangerous. The courageous, outspoken leader holds high standards, and holds others to account to those standards, and is unwilling to turn a blind eye when things are not right. I hope this reflection is beneficial to you. I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments. And if you’re interested in working with me, schedule a call here: www.SuperstarDiscoveryCall.com . * My definition!
- The Superstar Scoop: 3 Easy Exercises to Find Your Higher Purpose
There's nothing like feeling a sense of purpose. When we have purpose, everything has more meaning, more color and more joy. This week’s article and video are about claiming your higher purpose so you can experience more joy, more fulfillment and more pleasure in your business and in your life. This topic is important to me because for so many years (decades, really), I lived my life without purpose. My primary focus was to succeed, to achieve, to win, to compete, to make money, and to get promotions. But all of those things were about ME. MY success, MY achievement, MY outcomes. Purpose is about living and working for something bigger than just us. In fact, purpose is all about contribution. Your purpose is WHY you do what you do, and what makes it valuable to humanity or to the planet in some way. And it’s not always something you FIND, but rather something you CHOOSE. Like many people, maybe even you, I used to think my purpose was something that would (or should) fall in my lap, with a big, obvious THUD. I'm HERE!!!! I even remember scenarios where I would meet somebody who was really purpose-driven and clear about what they were contributing to the world, and feeling envious, like "Wow, you're so lucky because you found your purpose…" (subtext: "and I haven't found mine yet.") Boo hoo. I related to my purpose as something that once I found it, or it found me, then my life would magically reorganize and fall into place… and in the meantime, until that happened, well, I was just going to trudge along and chug along and live my life the way I was living it. I finally woke up to the fact that I could keep waiting around for my purpose to find me, or I could just CHOOSE it. Right now. And maybe it's the “right” purpose, maybe it's the “wrong” purpose, I don't even know, but I'm going to declare myself for something." That decision – that CHOICE – precipitated the chain of events that led me to here, with you, today, with the purpose of SUPERSTAR ACTIVATION. To help smart, influential, creative people like YOU (AKA: Superstars!) tap into your gifts and passion, to contribute something of value to the world (without sacrificing health, lifestyle or relationships in the process). And in doing this work, I’ve discovered 3 very simple ways to get at your purpose, or refine your purpose. The first method I didn’t invent myself; I heard it many years ago and can't give credit where it's due (my apologies to the IP angels!!). This way is to fast forward to the end of your life. You've passed away, and your funeral will be taking place. All your family, friends and others who loved you will gather. Think of the people sitting at your funeral – what would you want them to hear and remember about who you were in your life? What would you want your obituary to say? Write it down. This will give you clues to your purpose. For an example of this approach, watch the video above. The second way to do it is to just, write down what you think your purpose might be. Your very first attempt at a purpose statement. Then ask yourself "why?" Why do you want to contribute THIS particular thing? Write that down. Then ask why AGAIN, and write that down… Keep going, keep asking "why?" until you simply can’t go any deeper. After 5 or 6 times, you’ll probably have something that resonates deeply for you as a purpose. (Bonus points if you’re in tears, that’s a GREAT sign). Watch the full video to hear an example of using this format. The third way, if the first 2 don’t seem to be getting you anywhere is to consider what angers you or seriously bothers you in the world? What do you see as unjust, where you feel frustration? Sometimes the “way in” is with the NOT wanting. Then let's flip that. What would be the opposite of that thing? To see an example of this, watch the full video. I hope this video and article got you thinking about YOUR purpose, and I’d LOVE to hear more about it. Feel free to post a comment here or on the video page in YouTube. *** For information on how to connect with and work with Michelle, or to attend one of our Business Breakthrough Retreats, visit www.SuperstarDiscoveryCall.com .






